Ice Pirates!!!!

Directed by: Stewart Rafill
Starring: Robert Urich, Michael D. Roberts, Mary Crosby, Anjelica Huston, Bruce Vilanch, and of course, RON PERLMAN.



Way off in the far distant future, kind of in a parallel universe to the 'Dune' saga, where water is in demand instead of 'spice', a group of lovable pirates, well, they steal ice. During a plundering, the captain, Robert Urich, comes across a sleeping beauty, (she's a princess in hypersleep). He decides to kidnap her.


[this image is pretty sweet, since this a movie from my youth.]

 The Royalty quickly catches our pirates and sentances them to.....castration. yup. ....side note..

I remember watching this movie with my mom when I was a youngster and I asked her, "what does that mean?" I forget what she said or how she said it, but I remember thinking that I didn't understand the concept.
Any way....
Did I mention robots??



There are a buncha cool-ish robots in this movie. It's early-mid-eighties, so it's pretty awesome in it's robo-tisms. We get the full range from the fancy, shiney apple/ipod style, the lumbering-bulkey soldiers, to the shiny slang talking taxi driver.

Back to the story.....
With the help of the kidnapped princess, the pirates escape their testicleless fate as she recruites them to a mission to find her lost father. The journey isn't easy as they confront former foes, space herpes, and a lizard "queen". Well, Bruche Vilanch shows up, too.

that bird has no feathers!!

Overall, it's a great little 80's scifi oddity. As far as good films go, it's a good bad movie. Not a bad, good movie, but a good, bad movie.
If it was a kid you went to school with, it's that C+ kid that everyone likes, though you know he'd never amount to anything.

wait, isn't that me?

The special effects are 'cheesey', the story is weak, the acting is, well, better than you'd expect. The real failing of this 'disasterpiece' is that they rush the end. The last ten minutes deserves a better, less silly end..

This is a review coming from someone that will always love this movie, no matter how bad it is.